Two Truths and a Lie: Managing negative thoughts and depression
As a person who battles with depression, I’ve gotten to a place where I can begin to identify patterns that affect my mind and body. I’m learning that to get through depression or a depressive state I have to learn how to capture the thing/s that have affected my mood. I find that one thing that leads to my depression is allowing negative thoughts to fester. Often times they are lies or mistakes I’ve made that I’ve allowed to become a big deal when really it’s not.
Now and then I like to do a personal check-in and ask myself three questions. These are also questions I ask when I am triggered.
What is the lie?
What is the truth?
What is the lesson?
1. THE LIE - What is the lie you are allowing to playback in your mind? Ask yourself what are the unspoken tales that you believe about yourself or your life. While they may not always be something you say aloud it will definitely contribute to how you function, your mindset, and how you interact with others. Our insecurities can be haunting and destroy us from the inside out. I recommend writing down all the lies you believe about yourself or maybe lies others might have told you. There is something about seeing it on paper that suddenly makes those lies seem absurd.
2. THE TRUTH - Counter every lie with what you know is true. We must return to the foundation of who we are and embrace the beauty of who we are becoming. We must learn to love ourselves and value the wonderful attributes and characteristics that make us who we are. It took me a long time to love myself and affirming the space that I occupy. I do matter. So who are you, sis?
3. THE LESSON -Often, I struggle with failure and get depressed when things don’t pan out the way I hoped. Rejection and correction are huge triggers for me. They are certainly part of the circle of life but if I’m being honest it stings a little more than it needs to. I remember working on a document that got chewed up by a superior and made me feel like a “failure”. I know it sounds real simple. Something about the cross-outs, circles, and x's had me feeling triggered. I had to take a deep breath, accept the correction and the fact that I should do a better job revising my documents. Lastly, it’s not that serious. My dad always told me you “don’t have problems you have a situation”. At first, the two sound the same but, it taught me how to keep an issue from becoming a personal one that would often make me feel like a failure. Most of the time your problem is a situation that can be solved.